LEAKED: Job Application for the Best Team in America…Take 2

Chicago, IL – After Bruce Rauner fired his entire communications team, the same sources that leaked the news tipped us off to a leaked job application direct from the governor’s office:


Seeking Best Team in America…Take 2

JOB DESCRIPTION: The communications department is responsible for crafting effective “messaging” for the governor’s office. We are currently seeking candidates for entry level to senior positions following what some are calling a “Wednesday night massacre.” Prior team members have been unwilling to show a racist cartoon, compared abortion to Nazi eugenics, tweeted homophobic and sexist slurs, advocated for the firing of all state workers, and got into Twitter fights with reporters over spelling errors. Come on board!
Ideal applicants will have the ability to convince Illinois voters that going 736 days without a budget is good and school funding is bad. Candidates need not know how many votes it takes to pass legislation or amendatory vetoes. An ideal applicant will be a self-starter. At times, it may even feel like no one is in charge.
REQUIREMENTS: Extensive experience in radical, right-wing activism. Government experience optional. Leave your G’s at home.  
DURATION: 37 days… perhaps.
ATTIRE: Steam-pressed plaid shirts and Carhartt jackets.
SALARY: Commensurate with lack of experience. 
LOCATION: Springfield or under the nearest bus. 

Please email resumes and cover letters to BestTeamInAmericaTake2@gmail.com.

Check out this job opening on Craigslist and help spread the word!


Anna Rosenfeld